Category Archives: Humor

This might be the battle of the plaid campaign. (Updated!)

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In Marty’s campaign video below, I couldn’t help but notice his shirt….  Where have I seen that before?

Congresswoman Noem wore it in her 2010 Congressional video:

It’s plaid deja vu.   But in the midst of the plaid battle, Marty threw us a curveball..

He’s got a horse now, but switched up the pattern to blue…

This might be the battle of the plaid campaign. Stay tuned for more clashes of the tartan cloth!

Update: I felt bad, because I couldn’t find any photos of GOP Gubernatorial candidate Lora Hubbel wearing plaid in a campaign setting. And she’s probably not a plaid person.

So I thought I’d be a helper, and I mocked up what I thought might be the best way for Lora to express her views on the campaign trail in plaid:

Hm… I’ll have to see if it comes in red.

Pierre Library provides activity for Democrat legislators when they come to town

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Hey! Good news for Democrats!  The Pierre Library has just announced an activity program designed for them while they’re here for the legislative session!

Pierre Library Launches Adult Coloring Club

The club, part of the adult programming at Rawlins Municipal Library, will hold its first meeting on Saturday, November 14th. The meeting will start at 10:30 a.m. in the Rawlins Library Community Room. Anyone 18 or older is welcome to participate.

and…

The library will provide markers and colored pencils, as well as coloring sheets designed especially for adults.

Participants can expect the coloring sheet designs to include things like abstract shapes, botanicals, animals and paisleys.

Read it all here.

Bob Ellis abandoned GOP because we’re not manly enough for him. Maybe he should be more like Princess Elsa and “Let it go.”

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According to the latest at American Clarion, I guess some of us might need to add “dually” tires to our full-size pickups, spit more tobacco, and make more fart jokes. Because BY GOSH THE REPUBLICAN PARTY ISN’T MANLY ENOUGH FOR BOB ELLIS!:

He’s exactly right. Weenies don’t fight. Wimps don’t fight. Wusses don’t fight. Oh, they’ll whine and bellyache all day long.  But have you ever seen a weenie fight a determined enemy? Have you ever seen a wimp stick his neck out to fight a vicious enemy? Have you ever seen a wuss take on tyranny?

I tried desperately (and in vain) to point this out in 2014 during the U.S. Senate race in South Dakota last year.

and…

And some people wonder why I am no longer seen in “Republican” and “pro-family” circles and events anymore. (The smell of urine is overwhelming)

I desperately hope the people of the United States are much wiser with their choice of presidential candidates than the gutless excuse for “conservatives” and “Republicans” in South Dakota have been.

Read it here.

(Uh oh. Bob must have seen my ill-fated attempts to kill the fly pestering me at my desk while I’m trying to work today. Dammit. I wasn’t manly enough to take that sucker down. )

Between Bob’s comments today, his Rambo Jesus versus Wuss Christ declarations, and his endless obsession over gay sex, I’m just wondering how wimpified all the rest of you pasty man-boy Republicans have become to lose his support like this! Candidates – If you want his support in the 2016 election, you all had better get to working out to build those muscles, so Bob can see the pictures of you all manly & bulky and oiled up! (Thongs optional when you send those to Bob, BTW).

Seriously though, I can hardly stop laughing over the silliness of it all.  Have the Gordon Howie lapdogs like Bob Ellis just lost all connection with reality and polite society?  Between Bob Ellis talking about people being wussy, and Lora Hubbel talking about politicians needing “bigger balls,” I’ve kind of lost track of what grade we’re all supposed to be in.

Fine. They hate the Republican party. Bob voted against the Republican in the last election, and calls us all names, and Lora converted to indy. And calls us all names. We get that. Somehow, we’ll figure out a way to soldier on.

But if that going to be your position, why do they continue to rail on about it? Shouldn’t they by like the magic princess in “Frozen” (..which having a young daughter, I’ve seen far too many times), and just “Let it go.”  Of course, having mentioned that, I’m sure I’ll be told I’m introducing my kids to demons, since in the movie she has magic powers.

The point is that no one is forced to participate in Republican politics. Nope. Not at all. If a person wants to, they’re very welcome to. But don’t expect to be sat at the table when you spend your time calling people names like a 2nd grader. You’re far more likely to be mocked, and no one is going to want to play with you. Or take anything you say seriously.

There are a lot of Republicans at the grassroots who actually do drive the debate, and the direction of the party in remaining true to conservative roots. They do it every day in their communities, and as part of something bigger at the state level. But those who spend their time calling everyone names? Not so much.

They’re purely there for entertainment purposes only.

The dangers of cleaning and home improvement. Just say no.

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I’m not sure if any of you recall me referring to my desk as “the world’s messiest desk” before, which I typically do out of truthfulness. It’s not that I’m intentionally messy or disorganized, it’s just that I typically have multiple projects running simultaneously, as well as piles and piles of phone notes for those projects.

I tend to be a bit of a keeper of notes and papers. I go through and throw them away after some time, but I’m paranoid that I’m going to throw something away I’ll need, so it usually stays in a pile for a couple of weeks. Inevitably, my desk ends up being the place where I keep my ‘piles,’ much to the chagrin of my wife.

With taking my new job(s) in the past couple of weeks, I had obtained an inexpensive corner desk… but it wasn’t turning out to be large enough for a laser printer, four monitors, two computers. a router, a switch, and a VOIP phone.

Friday, I happened across the desk I wanted, and actually needed on Brookings Rummage sale. It was much bigger, had drawers unlike my current one, and it met with the spousal seal of approval.

That last part was important, since we’re on a bit of a cleaning frenzy with one of my wife’s brothers coming to visit our humble place in suburbia for the first time on Friday. He & his spouse are winding their way across the country on a post-retirement 2 month vacation.

I’m not sure what retirement is. I think it’s one of those things that people with regular jobs do when they get older. I’m likely going to be picking up cans in the ditch when I’m too old to be a Walmart greeter. (I had kids instead of money.)

IMG_2008So, back to the home clean-up project. We rearranged furniture, disassembled, reassembled, hung pictures that needed hanging long-ago, started calling cleaning people, cracking the whip on kids to pick up, etcetera and so on.

And we went and picked up my new desk.

It’s everything I wanted, it was inexpensive, and it doesn’t look bad at all. I should be able to work my job related duties from it, as well as my non-job related duties. And I should have room for that replacement monitor I’m getting shortly, so I’m back up to two.

Everything was going smoothly, except for that little hitch. Where I spent about two hours in the emergency room.

Putting things in perspective, except for a couple of splinters, I managed to design, cut, and assemble all components for my new deck without any personal injury. But, when I go to attach one bracket to join the two pieces of my desk together – in holes that had long been there – somehow I managed to get a chunk of particle board in my eye that refused to be flushed out.

FullSizeRenderIn addition to not wanting to be flushed out, despite my persistence in flushing it with saline, flushing it in the shower, and flushing again in the sink, it managed to do quite the job in scratching up my eye.

At the emergency room, it was evident that I actually may have gotten it flushed out in one of my attempts. But it’s not that I could feel the difference after all the corneal abrasions. They said there was a V shaped one on the left of my eye. And a matching one on the right hand side of the same eye.

That’s it pictured above, looking like I’ve been in a car accident.

Aside from learning that painful lesson, The rest of the day was spent finishing the home improvement job before I allowed myself to take the pain pills I was prescribed…. which left me unmotivated and not wanting to do a thing. I imagine that’s much like pot petition workers.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to do much today. And I’m hoping that by tomorrow I’ll be able to cease with the pain medication altogether as I start on the work week.

Did I learn a lesson from all of this? I doubt I’ll start wearing safety glasses anytime soon for assembling furniture in my home.  So, if there is a lesson, the lesson is probably regarding the dangers of cleaning up for company, and how it can lead to motivation sapping prescription drugs.

So, remember: Avoid the dangers of cleaning and home improvement. Just say no.

There seems to be a lot of Democrats who want the votes of dead people to count.

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Senate Bill 111
Sponsors: Senators Parsley, Buhl O’Donnell, Haverly, Hunhoff (Bernie), Olson, Omdahl, and Sutton and Representatives Wollmann, Bartling, Bolin, Feickert, Gibson, Johns, McCleerey, Otten (Herman), Rasmussen, Ring, Romkema, Schoenfish, and Schrempp

Purpose: repeal the provision that invalidates absentee ballots cast by voters who died before the date of the election.

I notice there’s a disproportionate number of Democrats who who want the votes of dead people to count in elections.

It’s possible they wanted to elect Pressler to US Senate because the teacups haven’t been issued yet.

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This is on eBay right now:

set-of-dishes

Here is a set of six footed water glasses made by Fostoria for US Senator Larry Pressler, Republican, who represented South Dakota from 1978 to 1996. He was defeated in ’96 by Democrat Tim Johnson who retired this year, and Pressler ran for Johnson’s seat as an independent. During his career he was regarded as an iconoclastic, somewhat quixotic, quirky Senator, certainly one of the more interesting members of Congress at the time.

The glassware was made by Fostoria, and is marked on the bottom of each glass, shown in a photo. They are heavy high quality glass engraved with the United States Senate seal and Larry Pressler’s signature on the side. They are 5 3/4″ tall and 3 1/4″ diameter across the top. They show no wear, and have no chips or hairlines. You are bidding on the entire set of six.

Included as a bonus is a 1993 booklet welcoming Senator Pressler’s visitors to Washington. It is 46 pages long, filled with general information to help visitors locate interesting things to do and see, and to find their way around DC and vicinity. The booklet is in near mint condition.

Read it here.

Remember the dishes issued by supermarkets, where they’d sell the plates one week, and a serving platter the next?

It’s entirely possible that someone wanted to elect Larry Pressler to the US Senate because the “Larry Pressler” teacups hadn’t been issued yet, and well, they needed that to complete their set.

At taxpayer expense.

Maybe we ought to bring back texting while driving?

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From the Argus Leader, just a little too much TMI about how people while away the long windshield hours between stops in South Dakota:

Cindy Struckman-Johnson watched last week’s kerfuffle over the now-nixed “Don’t Jerk and Drive” public safety ads and saw something in the offending double entendre that most people didn’t: A distracted driving message.

That’s because the University of South Dakota professor has researched just how prevalent sex while driving is.

“There are people getting killed out there because they’re having sex while driving, either with themselves or with another person,” Struckman-Johnson said. “If they’re getting killed, we have an obligation to understand it.”

A paper co-authored by Struckman-Johnson, recently published in the journal “Accident Analysis and Prevention,” found that 33 percent of men and 9 percent of women at USD have engaged in some sort of sexual activity while driving.

and…

The rural nature of the South Dakota and the long drives associated with trips home for some students played a role in the behavior, the professor suggested.

“One of the students wrote ‘it’s a five or six hour drive home,” she said. “What am I supposed to do?”

Read it all here.

(See? That what happens when you take away texting on those long rural trips. First it leads to smoking, and then more immoral behavior!)