Matt Varilek: The analogy candidate

I finally watched the KELO interview with Matt Varilek and Jeff Barth discussing the payroll tax.

I thought Barth did a decent job. Varilek was not easy to listen to.

Cue Varilek’s aloof arching right eye brow and unenthusiastic voice, so bland it would be a hindrance to him getting a job with public radio… and prepare yourself for some classic Varilek quotes:

And to get 89 senators to agree on anything is about as common as a four-leaf clover these days,” Varilek said.

Or maybe this clever line he delivered in his announcement video:

“Now with congress about as popular as a toothache, you might wonder why anyone would want to join that institution.”

Apparently Varilek is full of quirky little similes. Everytime he goes on camera they come forth unenthusiastically but with ease.

Keep your ears out for more classic Varilek quotes. And don’t be shy about recommending a few for Mr. Analogy to test out before his next television interview!

19 Replies to “Matt Varilek: The analogy candidate”

  1. Bill Fleming

    Okay, you asked for it, Billy.
    I suggest the following as possible analogs around here:
    1. Newt Gingrich = More flip-flops than a Romney surf shop.
    2. Bill Clay = Three french fries shy of a happy meal
    3. Bob Newland = Madder than a rained-on rooster
    4. Kristi Noem = Her hair glistens in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
    5. Sibby = Dumber than a sack of hammers
    6. Duh = About as sharp as a sack of wet mice.
    7. GOP Congress = Lame as a duck. Not metaphorical lame ducks, either, but real ducks that are actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
    8. MC = Thoughts tumble in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
    9. Stace Nelson = Grows on you like a colony of E. Coli on room-temperature Canadian beef.
    10. Les = His vocabulary is as bad as, like, whatever.

    1. Anonymous

      That’s a clever little copy and paste job Flemdog.

      I guess you don’t like your guy being called Mr. analogy?

      Shouldn’t number 5 be Bill Flemming instead of Sibby? Sibby isn’t dumb he’s just a radical.

    1. anon

      That’s good to know it bothers you liberals because from here on out Mr. analogy is exactly what we shouls refer to him as.

      Poor little Matt Varilek aka mr. dumb analogy…

  2. duggersd

    Perhaps Mr. Varilek was a student of Dan Rather?
    BF: About as logical as a submarine with screen hatches.

      1. duggersd

        It was not meant to be funny. Only illustrative. And it was. Now go pass your gas someplace besides church.

  3. insomniac

    Has anyone ever listened to him speak? Zzzz… the guy is a snooze. His wife is somewhat hot in the video (they should run her instead). Also what is the deal with his accent and speech patern? By comparison Sarah Palin is hard to make fun of…

    I’m still a believer that Nancy Turbak Berry is the best the Dems can do in 2012 anything less is pathetic.

  4. caheidelberger

    O.K., pigs, leave wives alone.

    Noem can’t spell analogy; she starts giggling when she gets to the fourth letter. She also can’t craft an analogy.

    But more importantly, Noem can’t craft effective legislation or a coherent justification or critique thereof. Varilek can… and that issue of competence is what “Bill Clay” and other GOP mouthpieces are desperately trying to avoid discussing.

  5. DUH

    Another serious nonissue. MV has NO shot and isn’t worthy of the finger effort to type this.

    OK BF, you predict now that MV will beat Kristi, and when he doesn’t you deny that you were for him or any other troll on the left and attempt to scrap up some dignity.

    CAheidlebergerbergerwithfries, Kristi has professionally achieved more in her short time on this earth than you could in 3 existences, albeit a constant negative existence. Those around you must pray for carbon monoxide.

  6. Sparta

    bloggers apparently like flashy, but s.d. voters like ordinary, knowledgeable, and competent, a la Dennis Daugaard, Tim Johnson, and, I predict, Matt Varilek