For Immediate Release
April 1, 2018
US House Candidate Neal Tapio Announces Suspension of Campaign, Changes Mind on $1 Trillion Deficits
Today, US Congressional Candidate Neal Tapio suspended his campaign for US House amid recent revelations that balancing the federal budget is unnecessary and actually bad for the economy.
“Senator Reynold Nesiba, D-Sioux Falls, an Economics professor at Augustana College, enlightened me during the Senate session this year in Pierre that it is not necessary to balance the federal budget,” Tapio said. “I used to think it was crazy that someone teaching our children would actually advocate for irresponsible and endless deficits, but Nesiba insisted we can run endless deficits and never have to pay the debt back. It wasn’t until watching the bipartisan $1.3 trillion Omnibus spending bill pass in Congress did it sink in that the entire Washington establishment actually agrees with professor Nesiba. If it is not important to balance the budget, it really isn’t worth my time to run for the US House.”
Tapio added he will focus his full attention on immediately implementing this novel concept into his already highly successful business. He plans to notify his employees about this revolutionary concept of not having to reconcile the bank account any more. He expressed disappointment that his accountant didn’t tell him about this concept before.
“I had this foolish notion that we have to live within our means and that in order to save our country for our children and grandchildren, we actually should do everything in our power to immediately end deficit spending. Had I been elected to Congress, I would have demanded a government shutdown until we addressed the endless deficit spending, largely caused by out of control socialism and an endless war with Islamic terrorism,” Tapio said. “With this new concept by an actual Augustana University professor, in concurrence with our Republican and Democrat leadership in Congress, I feel my willingness to face tough issues head-on just wasn’t needed.”
Tapio further explained that he used to be frustrated by politicians who would run for office promising to balance the budget, but once in office, continue to add $1 trillion to the deficit every year.
“Like other taxpayers and misguided voters stuck on such outdated concepts of balancing budgets, I was lied to and pandered to by politicians just wanting my vote, but it wasn’t until I realized that the entire Republican leadership wasn’t that concerned about endless deficits either, did it become understandable.”
“They were just making promises to get elected. They didn’t actually mean it. Why shut the government down, if deep down you actually agree with the nutty professor?” Tapio added, “now that I have stumbled onto the idea that endless deficits are actually good, while I still feel frustrated that I was lied to, there is no point in fighting a system that isn’t broken.”
For that reason, as of today, April 1, 2018, I am suspending my campaign.
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Neal Tapio
Candidate for US House
Nice try, Pat… The only thing that gave it away was the length of the press release. If it really came from Tapio, it would have been much, much, much longer!
It came from the campaign. I believe it’s an April Fools’ Joke.
Oh, I thought it was you… I wondered why you wanted to deal with the threats of lawsuits…
he’s got my votes.
mine too!
Are you two enquirers related? Is there an enquierer3 that will join the tag team? lol
That’s a good one ! April Fools to you all, and Happy Easter !
The Republicans used to think massive federal deficits were scary as hell. Turns out even the Pope says they are not as scary as once thought…
I support balanced budgets!
I support the tax cuts!
I support Trump’s spending plan!
Pick two. This “joke” lines up with his actions pretty well.
The Upside down world where the Democrats will be the ones fighting to reduce the federal deficit and the Republicans thru their actions have increased it?
Tapio is gaining steam! Shantel Krebs is trying to portray that she is the Trump endorsed candidate. Neal is the only person in this race that supported Trump. Vote Neal Tapio!
Gaining flatulent,
When a person without a sense of humor tries too hard, you get this.
Actually, when a person takes himself too seriously, he posts anonymously on a political blog, then struts his stuff in front of his lovely wife, and his embarrassed children, while still thinking they respect him.