Happy Mother’s Day from Dakota War College
Taking a moment from working after my wife hopped in my truck to head out west back to Spearfish (she’s hauling some patio furniture), I thought I’d take a moment to revisit a column I wrote back in 2017 to honor the mothers who influence me the most:
The first is my mom, Kay, pictured here before I was around at the World’s Fair in Queens, NY. Mom passed away from Breast Cancer right before Thanksgiving in 2000, after her cancer metastasized throughout her system. In her last 30 days on earth, we did at least 2 auction sales and then she was off for another round of cancer treatment the next day to Oklahoma City.. where they called within a couple of weeks, and told us we needed to drive down from Pierre to bring her home, because her time was ending.
Mom’s only education past high school was a vocational nurse’s training program. And at times, I think she wished she’d gone further. But in addition to being a Registered Nurse (and later a school nurse for the Pierre Public School system) she was a savvy businesswoman who made up for what she lacked in formal education by working hard and teaching herself. Over the years, she ran two small businesses in Pierre, an antique store and an auction company, and as her oldest I was often drug along for the ride (whether I liked it or not).
From mom I learned a lot of things. Lessons about hard work, running your own small business, as well as other pieces of knowledge she tried to pass on to me. I pale to her energy, but I’m as much of a workaholic as she was. In her last five years, after she had first been diagnosed with cancer and was horribly ill from chemotherapy, she even demanded I follow her commands on how to butcher a deer – right there on her kitchen table – because it was something she thought I should learn.
She taught me that success might be because of many factors. But hard work and becoming a student of your craft is what matters the most.
She also taught me lessons about life. When it was time for an auction sale, she was known at times to hire people who might be down on their luck, because equal to her needing the help, it helped them, because sometimes people are just looking for a chance.
Mom grew up as a child of divorce in the 40’s and 50’s when most didn’t do that, and I think that there were times when they didn’t have a lot of money or stability, until my grandmother married her third husband, who I knew as my grandfather until the day he died. Which brings to mind a lesson mom made about family. When I was engaged, she was being mom, and trying to honestly pass down advice. And she told me to never bring a complaint about my wife to her. She said that there are good times and more challenging times in all marriages. And as her son, she would always take my side whether I was right or wrong, because that’s what parents do. She pointed out a cousin whose wife always ran to her parents to complain. And eventually, instead of encouraging them to work together to solve their problems as a couple, her parents pushed her to divorce.
There are lots of people who have challenging times in their marriage, and plenty that end in divorce. But, as my mom intended to impress upon me, if you can avoid stacking the deck against success by not encouraging your family’s opposition to your spouse over simple disagreements or minor issues, I consider that to be fairly sound advice. My wife and I will celebrate 33 years of marriage in November.
Speaking of my life-partner, and mother of my seven children, my wife Michelle is of course the other mom who influences me greatly. Among many things, the quality I most admire about her is her lifelong desire to learn, continually improve, and to try to elevate her craft and skill in her field, in her case, education.
During our relationship (we were engaged after about 2-3 weeks), she’s gone from Special Education teacher at Elk Point, to State Director of Special Ed, to Director of Special Ed for a School District which paid more than the State of SD job, and after receiving her doctorate spent a number of years teaching the next generation of Special Educators at Augustana University. Until once again taking a leap of faith to return to administration in a new field and is serving the needs of adults with disabilities as the CEO of Northern Hills Training Center.
It’s not easy being a career-minded woman who puts up with me, is the mother of seven children, active in the community, active in professional associations, all at the same time she’s worked on and completed a Masters Degree, a Specialist in Education Degree, and a Doctoral Degree.
Back when we lived in Pierre, I remember a friend relating a story where her daughter was complaining about her college workload, and this woman’s retort to her child was, “Michelle Powers is working full time, is in the middle of her master’s degree, just played last month in the orchestra of the play, and is down at the hospital having her fourth child. Don’t complain to me about your workload.”
While my mom was a person possessing a high school education, as well as a vocational nursing certificate, and my wife has several degrees, they were/are both remarkable mothers to me. At the same time they raised large families, they both had that same super-human energy and a hunger to continue reaching for knowledge, to improve, and to reach new goals.
In remembrance of my mom, Kay, and my wife, Michelle. Happy Mother’s Day.
