Congressional explorer Toby Doeden is sure someone will try to bribe him to get out of the race, just like Kari Lake. He’s just sure of it.

While he wasn’t well enough to explain to Republicans why he has never voted in a Republican primary, convalescent ‘Congressional explorer’ Toby Doeden bravely mustered enough strength to arise from his sick bed long enough to explain to a supporter that he’s just sure that someone will try to bribe him to stay out of the congressional race.

If you hadn’t heard, someone was supposedly offering money to get Kari Lake not to run for Senate in Arizona. The latest speculation was that it might have even come from the Trump Team. It’s all rather murky.

But of course, the paranoid conspiracists and ultra-right facebook addicts that make up Doeden’s core supporters had to know – has he been approached with a bribe to get out of the race?

And of course, Toby (or the people chained to a desk to write on his behalf) are saying not yet, but I’m sure it’s coming!

“I 100% haven’t been approached, yet. I reckon it’s because we are an exploratory committee at this point. One way or the other, I’m sure this offer will be made at some point..”

Er.. yeah. You betcha. I’m suuuuurreee that’s going to happen. (That was sarcasm)

Someone must have mixed his aspirin with his coca-cola to addle him to this degree. If anyone is going to make a donation, there are two far more likely scenarios.

#1 – Local residents might donate a couple of gas cards to get him on the campaign trail and out of Aberdeen to save the community the embarrassment of being associated with him. As in “please, we’d like to help you leave town for a while…

#2 – State political blog writers might send him money to stay in the race, because this stuff is absolute comedy gold. But then again, most of us don’t do this for the money, so that’s less likely to happen.

Yep – going with #1. His neighbors will likely want to encourage this clown’s away travel. Far, far away.

11 thoughts on “Congressional explorer Toby Doeden is sure someone will try to bribe him to get out of the race, just like Kari Lake. He’s just sure of it.”

  1. I got some crazy inside information about Lake. For those of you who follow my twitter, you may have already seen it. I’ve never really been a fan .. she’s career M5M for goodness sake, but also she had recon and tons of $ and couldn’t get it done in AZ.

    Aberdeen is a fairly strange place in terms of the composition of its culture. I’d like to make a visit up there again .. haven’t been since I spent Christmas with the Ackermans in around 1989. I still have great memories of that Christmas .. the food, the tree, playing with little plastic army guys in the basement.

  2. He keeps saying this is his “life long mission” — he needs a definition lesson – if this is “life long” why are you starting now at almost 60? And where have you been in your warrior ways the previous decades?

    And does he plan to “fight the man” or run this familial oligarchy communist empire he’s building in Aberdeen? Because I’m pretty sure there’s not enough time to do both, much less serving in DC on top of that.

    1. I don’t know Doeden and am not very familiar with him but…”familial oligarchy communist empire” in Aberdeen? Seriously?

  3. No one outside the comment section of South Dakota political blogs will ever know his name even if he ever makes out of the exploratory committee phase.

  4. I think everyone is worried because we all know it doesn’t take much other than a few thousand dollars (which he has) and an (R) next to your name to be considered a “political leader” in this state. As this current generation comes to a close, I think this will change. You reap what you sow!

  5. Were these people like this before they took the horse de-wormer? What affect did it have on their pre-frontal cortex or other parts of their brains?

  6. Dusty supporters should bribe this guy to stay in. What better way to remind voters what the alternative to Dusty’s hard work and common sense looks like?

Comments are closed.